Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

I wanted to think of an original way to ask my bridesmaids to be in my wedding, but I didn't have a lot of extra money to buy them fancy gifts. I've really been trying to work my personality and interests into every aspect of this wedding. So I scoured Pinterest for cute ideas. I couldn't find anything that I really liked that I hadn't already seen before.

I knew I wanted to incorporate Harry Potter. So I started with quotes. I wrote down some of my favorites and some of the more popular ones when it hit me. "Duh... The wand chooses the wizard!" I knew exactly what to do.

So now I was searching all over Etsy for wands. Yes I could have made my own, but I was planning a wedding... I didn't have time for that! So I found this awesome shop (MadDragonStudio) that sold 10 wands for $100. At $10 a wand, that's a really good deal. The shop owner even took special requests so I asked her to add a little purple to them because they were my wedding colors. She obliged and the wands were so adorable! She even packaged them really cute!

Next I found a Harry Potter font online and printed out slips of paper that said "The wand chooses the wizard... And the bride chooses the bridesmaids... Will you be my bridesmaid?"

I wanted to find boxes to put them all in but I am very inpatient and was just way to excited. So I wrapped one in paper and tied it with twine and drove straight over to my sisters house and gave her hers. Then she and I went to Joann Fabrics to look for boxes but what did we find instead? OWLS. Adorable decorative owls. BETTER IDEA! I let my sister pick out which one she wanted and we bought enough for all the maids.

Then we wrapped all the wands in paper and twine with the note inside and tied them to the owls feet. It was so exciting and I felt very proud of myself. Unfortunately I had just made my trip to Pennsylvania to visit my cousins and ask them to be in the wedding with a promise of an official request to come (impatient, remember?). So I packed theirs up in a box and mailed it. My sister and I joked that to make the owls more realistic we should spring load them so they "fly out" when the box was opened but alas... The amazing things we could do if we had more money. Anyways... I think they were well received none the less.

Worth The Wait

There has been something on my mind for a while now that I want to share with you all.

You know how you can complain about your family but the second someone else does you're just like "Oh no... I'm sorry... You shut your face."

Well for the past year I have been hinting (if you can call it that) and teasing Austin relentlessly about getting married and how it's about time for him to propose and "Oh we're on a ferris wheel and you forgot the ring again." kind of jokes. But when other people say "It's about time." or "Took him long enough." well... I'm sorry. Shut your face.

I grew up in a family where my grandmom was married at 16, my mom at 19, and my sister at 20. So when Austin and I started dating I just assumed one or two years in you get married. It's the next step. That's just what you do. And I was a real brat about it. I would get seriously upset and offended when Austin would say "We're not ready yet." thinking he didn't take us seriously.

I cannot tell you how thankful I am that he was wise enough to know, we really truly were not ready. If we had gotten married years ago... It would have been a disaster. This goes for both of us but mostly me I think. We were selfish, still a little rebellious and angry at the world, emotional, and very, VERY, immature.

I have confidence that we are 100% ready for marriage at this point in our lives. We have both grown up and matured a lot. We have been through unspeakable situations together and come out stronger and wiser. I used to just leave when we would get in fights. Now we rarely even argue because we already know each other so well, and we respect and value each others opinions. Not to say I think we won't ever fight after we're married because of course we will. But we know how to handle each other and talk to each other. And most importantly, we know how to forgive each other.

Another reason I'm glad we waited over four years. I know people have waited longer than us, been farther apart than us, or just had it worse than us. But that doesn't mean that it hasn't seemed like I've waited an eternity for this. I thought we would never get married. If you've seen our proposal pictures than you know by the look on my face that I had no idea it was coming. It took me a week to stop shaking with excitement and for my heart to stop racing. For this reason, I will never take my marriage for granted. I will never think we got married just because "it's what people do" or "it's the next step." Marriage is a privilege and a gift that I will never stop being grateful for. I could not appreciate my fiance' and everything he does for me more if I tried.

And one more reason... You never stop learning. Sometimes I still forget he hates coconut even after all these years. We've been close friends for almost 7 years now. And hanging out with the same group of friends even longer. He just told me a story this past weekend that I had never heard before. I'm stilling learning new things about him all the time. I am comforted in the fact that I know who my fiance' is... I know this mans heart and he knows mine. But there are still mysteries to be uncovered and adventures to be had.

I don't have a sliver of doubt in my mind or a nervous bone in my body.

Where as if we had gotten married when I and the world thought we should have years ago. We would be damaged and hurt, and maybe never even learned to love each other the way we do now. So next time I say to my man "It sure took you long enough!" that's just my pride speaking. Because he was right, and I was wrong, and I'm more than ready to admit that. 

Engagement Photos

So those of you who have heard "our proposal" story know that Austin hired a photographer to document the whole thing. Because he is truly just so awesome. I was so so grateful that he did too because I just HAVE to have pictures of EVERYTHING. And I didn't really know what was going on so it was really cool to look back on it all later. However... our nerves were so wacky and we were both just so ... so.... hmmm... a word doesn't yet exist to describe how we felt in that moment... but even though I love our pictures from that night, all I really wanted to do while she was taking them was collapse in bed and take time to calm down and comprehend that this was all really happening. Instead we were surrounded by thousands of people we didn't know, a photographer (who was very sweet) but we also didn't know, and it was all just overwhelming and uncomfortable.

Here are a few of the better shots from that night.

Photo credit Petronella Photography

"Um YEAH!" is what I meant to say...

"What? I'm not about to throw up. It's all good."

"If we get hit by a car right now...."

"TAKE THREE!"

Those are the best of us out of the 50 that she gave us. We didn't look so hot in most of them. Also, I love the dress that I'm wearing but it isn't exactly "family appropriate" in my opinion. I didn't want to send a save the date to my grandparents like "Hey Grandma! I'm getting married! Try not to look directly into my boobs." Sorry I know I know... But you see what I'm saying? I thought I was just having a night out in NYC with my boyfriend when I got dressed that night and wasn't happy about my decision later. But how could I have known? Aaaaaanywaaays... all of this to say....

I asked a very dear friend of mine who is going to be a famous photographer because she takes truly amazing photos if she would take our engagement photos, part 2.

I had my hair dyed a new color because it was turning a nasty shade of green and my sister/maid of honor curled my hair the morning of and made it look real pretty. I got my ring cleaned and spent extra time on my lipstick (thankfully because she got pretty close up a couple times).

The weather literally could not have been more perfect. Cool with a warm breeze and sunshine. We went to Jerusalem Mills Historic Village which is close to my neighborhood and is kind of the "go to" place when you need pictures taken. So I picked up my balloons (I decided I needed balloons and I'm so glad I did) and we all met up for what turned out to be an absolute blast. 

I seriously can't even tell you how happy it made me to have that time dedicated to smiling with my man. I don't think any of our smiles were fake because we were just so genuinely happy. I would strongly urge every couple to do this every few years at least. I hope we do. We walked around, held hands, kissed, sat side by side or back to back, the balloons were a lot of fun too. Forget dinner and a movie. Grab a photographer you are really comfortable with and your man (or woman) and go for a walk. There was a lot of giggling on my part because I was just so giddy. And not just because we are engaged. There is something about staring deeply into the eyes of the person you love and being held close... I just kept thinking "How am I so lucky to have you?" I think it's really important to remember daily how important your "special someone" is to you. It was almost like "Oh, hi. Remember how in love we are?" Does that sound crazy? Well... I don't really care.

I want to share them ALL! But here are just a few of my favorites. (Gotta save some for Save The Dates.)

Photo credit Cora Hopper Donelson

Making us laugh.

 "I don't know what to do with my hands..."

This is without a doubt, my favorite picture of my ring. The leaf is perfect, and the diamonds against the wood is just amazing... I've stared at this one too long already and I've only had these pictures for 2 days.

Cora was amazing. She photographed EVERYTHING that popped into my head. Even if it seemed like it wouldn't work or if it was hard to get a good angle on something. She worked so hard and I am so happy with every single picture we got back.

The Ring

Ok, I don't know how I'm going to come off sounding by the end of this post. But hopefully you'll understand why I felt the need to write it.

I wasn't lying when I said I only had one "my wedding" dream. But over the course of the last year, I've had probably a dozen "proposal" dreams. And let me tell you, in EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. Austin had picked out the most hideous rings I have ever seen. I'm pretty sure such ugly pieces of jewelry don't exist in real life. But I always said "yes" without hesitation. Because the ring shouldn't matter.

If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times. I would have said "yes" had he proposed with a ring from a quarter machine. Actually, I had him put the ring on my finger before I even really saw it. Everything got so blurry and I got so dizzy that I didn't take it in until about 5 minutes after he popped the question at which point I went even deeper into a dream like state. Because I was also pretty sure rings that looked like they were pooped out by angels didn't exist either.

Several months ago we happened to be talking about how much men are "suppose" to spend on the ring and I actually said "Please don't spend that much money. That makes me sick." What a waste of money that could be put towards your wedding day or a down payment on a house. And I stand by that.

With all of that being said, I LOVE my ring. There is a special place in my heart for this piece of jewelry, and not just because of what it stands for (although that is the main part of it). It's the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on, and it fits my style. I honestly don't know how he was able to pick it out so perfectly. I don't deserve it.

I am afraid sometimes that people will judge me for having such a large ring. Will they think I'm a snob? Do they think I'm shallow? God forbid they think I picked it out myself! 

Austin has been spoiling me for years so I guess I can't be surprised that he has remained consistent throughout our engagement.

So what is the point of this post? I actually know for a fact some people already have judged me just because of the ring but I won't name names. I have a huge, magnificent, shiny ring and I LOVE IT. I will not cease posting pictures on Instagram and Facebook, because I am so proud of Austin for doing an amazing job. I'm flattered he cares so much about me and loves me so much that he can't seem to stop going above and beyond for me. I wanted you to know I post these pictures because I want you to understand the love I feel for this man every time I look at my ring... which is a lot.

I have a big ring... and I'm going to flaunt it.

(I waited long enough for it) ;)

 Photo credit Cora Hopper Donelson

 Photo credit Cora Hopper Donelson

Photo credit Petronella Photography

Registries

A few weeks ago we registered for wedding gifts. It was exhausting. First we went to Target and signed up pretty quickly and easily. We had a very long list of things to scan from my wedding planner book. Some of the stuff was ridiculous. There was an electronics section with things like flat screen, iPod, computer, DVD player, digital camcorder, etc. There were really over the top (in my opinion) things like cappuccino maker, sports equipment,  gas grill, to name a few. Now of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these things. But we have practically nothing, so we really needed to stick to the basics. It made it really hard to sift through the list though and try to decide "What do we really need?". After maybe an hour we sat down in the cafe and had a soft pretzel and scratched a lot of stuff off the list. I couldn't have done it without my fiance. He was so helpful and sympathetic (I was sick and it tired me out really quickly). He basically took over the list. Crossing off what we scanned, taking notes on things we couldn't find, keeping everything in order so I wouldn't get stressed out. Then the stupid scanner had a stroke and was scanning things multiple times... because we really need THREE ninja blenders!!! That would've been a disaster. I had to go through the whole list and make sure everything was in the right quantity.

We couldn't find towels that we thought were soft enough at Target and there were a few other things as well that they didn't have so we headed on over to Bed Bath and Beyond. It took us like 30 minutes to get started. They sat us down and had Austin fill out a paper with information, then they put it into the computer, and the guy talked a lot and kept breaking from entering the info. So we finally got started and just kinda wandered around at our own leisure. I had fun there because we didn't have much left on the list at this point and that store has some pretty cool stuff. I found a sweet waffle iron, I was really excited about that because I LOVE WAFFLES! We couldn't find a glass juicer, I just wanted the kind you use with your hand. All I could find were stupid plastic ones! So I finally found this....

HOW CUTE IS THAT!?

Ok so this is probably one of those things that some people might look at and be like "Uuuuuh... you don't NEED that."

Damn right... But I WANT it. I wanted to make sure we didn't go crazy or out of control scanning fun or unnecessary items, because there are too many things we really do NEED. But I'm all about enjoying every minute of this and experiencing all there is to experience. And for me that means scanning an adorable juicer, the 80th anniversary edition of Monopoly, and a GIANT incredibly soft throw blanket. 

 I don't know how many of you read these posts, but if you are reading this, please leave me a memory. Either something that really stands out in your mind when you think back to registering. Or maybe something that happened early on in marriage, a silly mistake that you can now look back on and laugh about. I would really love to hear it.

Dress Shopping

(Disclaimer... lack of humbleness in this post)

Wow.

What a crazy experience.

So yesterday I went shopping for wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses with all my bridesmaids, the moms, and my future sister-in-law. The very first dress I tried on, as soon as I saw myself in the mirror I got all choked up and teary-eyed. It finally started to seem as though this isn't all just a dream. What was I doing in this store? In this dress? Surrounded by all these people who love and support me and this man and this decision... It was an indescribable feeling. I had to get that under control because I did NOT want to spend the whole day blubbering like a... blubbering...sappy... person...

I tried on 7 different gowns. I had maybe 2 or 3 left in the dressing room but the last one I tried on I loved just as much as the first one I tried on. And I didn't want to end up with 5 dresses I loved equally because I am TERRIBLE at making decisions. As in I just really hate being forced to make decisions. I put on dress number 1 again because I thought it was THE ONE. I thought "None of the other dressed made me want to cry." Plus I just looked damn good in it. They let me wear it around the store while we looked at bridesmaids dresses and while my girls tried on dresses. So I was probably wearing it for 2 hours or something like that. My maids of awesome tried on these REALLY gorgeous dresses that complimented dress number 1. So we started looking for dresses for the rest of the bridesmaids that would go with all our dresses. As much as I loved the dress I was still wearing... I kept thinking about dress number 7 laying back in the dressing room. I thought "I'm 99% sure I want this dress... but I need to try that one on one more time so there are no doubts." So I put it on and I realized what was holding me back,

Dress number 1 was just that... the first wedding dress (aside from my moms) I've tried on. That's why it made me want to cry.... I would have cried no matter which dress I put on first... it just so happened that it was incredibly gorgeous and fit me like a glove. But it wasn't the right fit for my personality or the theme of my wedding.

Dress number 7 they only had in a size bigger than what I wear. So it was kind of falling down which made it feel like it wasn't a right fit, mentally as well as physically. But every time someone held it tight in the back for me so it was the right size I just though "WHOAH." I looked like a fairytale... and I had no doubt in my mind that even though, hell yeah, I would love to own dress number 1 as well... dress number 7 was actually the perfect fit.... or would be when it comes in in my size.

So I wore it for a while. My sister walked me around the store, she told me to close my eyes and imagine my wedding day, I was afraid of tripping so I kept my eyes open. But I did picture my wedding day... and I was dancing in dress number 7... and I looked fabulous. Luckily the maid of awesome and bridesmaids gowns looked good with this dress too because number 1 and number 7 had absolutely nothing in common and I didn't want to have to start from scratch.

A HUGE piece of advice I would give to anyone who doesn't know already what they want their gown to look like is this... Grab an ugly dress off the rack to try on first. Something that you would never really want to wear walking down the isle. Because I was dangerously close to buying the wrong dress. I would have looked great. None of the guests would have known otherwise. My fiance' would have thought I looked beautiful... But my mind would have been wandering back to that other dress that I now know was meant for me. Plus it's just fun to try on all sorts of dresses. Hopefully this will be my only wedding and I will never need to go wedding gown shopping for myself again. I wouldn't have done a thing differently.

The Beginning Stages

The night Austin proposed, I literally was using all my brain power to remind myself to breath. But the next day on the way home from Times Square, it's like my mind was on crack. I talked most of the way home and then crashed. There were a few wedding details I knew immediately. Maybe 6 months ago or so I had a dream, the only "my wedding" dream I've ever had (that I remember). It was really short, but when I woke up I thought "I HAVE to get married so I can do that!"

Here's what the dream was.

I was walking out to the dance floor for our first dance, a certain song was playing (that I can't disclose yet because I'm using it as our first dance song). I had long, wavy, lavender hair, and all my bridesmaids were wearing lavender dresses.

That's all I dreamt but it was powerful to me. I know that sounds super corny.

So anyways, I asked Austin if that was ok (especially the part where I have purple hair). He had no problem with it and said I could do whatever I wanted. Man of my dreams here, people.

It didn't take us long to choose the month of October. We can't stand the humidity/heat in the summer and the spring is soggy and winter is so unpredictable and COLD and we just love fall anyways. From the very start I said NO outdoor wedding. No way no how. Not in Baltimore. Do I think outdoor weddings are absolutely gorgeous? YES! Do I wan't the stress of wondering every day for the next year if we are going to have a hurricane on my wedding date? NO! But guess what? My wonderful parents offered us the use of their back yard and we took it. I love their yard. It holds so many memories for me. It's a beautiful yard. And where could I possibly be more comfortable celebrating my marriage than home? I have my good days and my bad days thinking about the weather. I'll think "I can't control the weather so there's no point in worrying about it." with a smile on my face... give it about 7 seconds before I start freaking out because "I CAN'T CONTROL THE WEATHER OMG WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!?!?!?"

In order to keep some of the stress under control I asked my sister to basically plan the wedding for me. I have never been happier in my life, and even though every bride is forced to plan their own wedding and I am no special case, I happen to have an older sister who not only has a passion for looking out for me (and telling me what to do *cough* love you, Cath), but LOVES planning! So I flat out told her "I want to do the fun stuff, and I want you to make the phone calls and deal with the people." I'm pretty sure Christmas arrived early for her this year. I handed over my wedding planner and some information and she is on the case. I cannot describe the weight that lifted off my chest when she agreed, happily.

My mom is doing so much to help too. She is making the cake and a few other desserts I found on Pinterest. She volunteered to make the place cards, do I have the best family or what? And she gave me her wedding dress to alter (that will be an entire nother post). 

If I could give any wedding planning advice, it would be this. DON'T try to do it by yourself. Accept the help that is offered and don't be afraid to ask for help. Because I would be lost without my family. I am having the time of my life making this a special and fun occasion. I can't believe I have to wait 364 days before I get to say "I do" and celebrate making the best decision of my life surrounded by those closest to me.